It would be most apt to name this inauguration in conincidence with the first book of my faith. In fact, it won't really matter if it would be an appropriate introduction to the world that might never read or look at this tiny little message in the sea of clatter and clamor, commotion and racket; this little whisper of inspiration will serve little but a record of life that once existed in the ocean.
God
I like to begin all things with God. Firstly, it's for God we do all things, rather, it should be for God that we do all things. We save people for God, and kill others for God, and we punish some others, while we forgive all the rest. Who then is God? My God is the God I believe created the heavens and the earth. "In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth", and so he did and here we are. He didn't create hell so either there is not hell or some other creator created hell, or it might stay in the middle of being between creation. I really don't know. It's somewhere I know I never want to go. But I know for sure it exist for much of it has been mentioned in the same book that the Genesis can be found.
When I was younger, God was this supernatural force that dictated if certain things happened. If good or bad happened in my life, it was God. I did what I could or wanted and God did the rest and so it was, and so it was for a good decade. And then God who continued to rule over all became a little more.
After I left the army and had my first real and proper education in the University, God became a topic of debate. And so I fought my years of belief with my growing strength in knowledge... At the end of it all, God prevailed, how could he not. And when my heart was troubled with the affairs of this world(not of the heart, as many would assume), the burden of exams and the silence of solitude. "Be still and know that I am God..." It was clear, almost as clear as when I thought for a minute that maybe there is no God and I used God to ease the pain and share the joy all these years. Then again... maybe there is and he just spoke to me.
Church
And so I went back to Church, first in the far corner of Bukit Batok but later thru a long time friend found my place where I am. I struggled a bit and in small parts God revealed that I should be there. And so, here I am in church, cell, ministry, prayer meeting etc... And all the things I thought only the weak and supersititious did to please God. So, maybe after those many years, I am beginning to feel weak but church has never felt more comfortable here and I loved it in bits and hated the others. But it's here I found that church wasn't a place for fellowship, a place for God's people or God's word. It's a special hiding place where people learnt and tried to become that they wanted to be. Almost like a school. Most people probably aren't as nice out there but here, they learnt and tried to be like Christ. I appreciate it nevertheless. The effort is better than none. No one engaged in a debate of self righteousness, no one ever dared to even compromise that which would fall short of perfect niceness. At the same time little bits of the pop culture revealed in everyone's delight to reveal a little naughtiness they had outside. After much observation, the church wasn't specially powerful, wasn't specially holy and wasn't even specially of more faith than the rest of the world. It was just itself and behaved almost in perfect synch with every rule of organisational behaviour text. It acted in strength where it had, and in weakness where it was weak. All would call to faith in weakness but little act in faith. I wouldn't be in contempt of such, in fact, I had quite a relieve when I started to observe that. It only meant the church was like me, nothing more. We are both afraid where we are weak and we call to God. "Good!" I thought and so it is until it proves me wrong.
I leave this Genesis with just God and Church, and will write about more when the time comes . It's only the beginning, I'm wondering how good a reach is blog, if I even find a decent reader, I might just continue writing.
God
I like to begin all things with God. Firstly, it's for God we do all things, rather, it should be for God that we do all things. We save people for God, and kill others for God, and we punish some others, while we forgive all the rest. Who then is God? My God is the God I believe created the heavens and the earth. "In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth", and so he did and here we are. He didn't create hell so either there is not hell or some other creator created hell, or it might stay in the middle of being between creation. I really don't know. It's somewhere I know I never want to go. But I know for sure it exist for much of it has been mentioned in the same book that the Genesis can be found.
When I was younger, God was this supernatural force that dictated if certain things happened. If good or bad happened in my life, it was God. I did what I could or wanted and God did the rest and so it was, and so it was for a good decade. And then God who continued to rule over all became a little more.
After I left the army and had my first real and proper education in the University, God became a topic of debate. And so I fought my years of belief with my growing strength in knowledge... At the end of it all, God prevailed, how could he not. And when my heart was troubled with the affairs of this world(not of the heart, as many would assume), the burden of exams and the silence of solitude. "Be still and know that I am God..." It was clear, almost as clear as when I thought for a minute that maybe there is no God and I used God to ease the pain and share the joy all these years. Then again... maybe there is and he just spoke to me.
Church
And so I went back to Church, first in the far corner of Bukit Batok but later thru a long time friend found my place where I am. I struggled a bit and in small parts God revealed that I should be there. And so, here I am in church, cell, ministry, prayer meeting etc... And all the things I thought only the weak and supersititious did to please God. So, maybe after those many years, I am beginning to feel weak but church has never felt more comfortable here and I loved it in bits and hated the others. But it's here I found that church wasn't a place for fellowship, a place for God's people or God's word. It's a special hiding place where people learnt and tried to become that they wanted to be. Almost like a school. Most people probably aren't as nice out there but here, they learnt and tried to be like Christ. I appreciate it nevertheless. The effort is better than none. No one engaged in a debate of self righteousness, no one ever dared to even compromise that which would fall short of perfect niceness. At the same time little bits of the pop culture revealed in everyone's delight to reveal a little naughtiness they had outside. After much observation, the church wasn't specially powerful, wasn't specially holy and wasn't even specially of more faith than the rest of the world. It was just itself and behaved almost in perfect synch with every rule of organisational behaviour text. It acted in strength where it had, and in weakness where it was weak. All would call to faith in weakness but little act in faith. I wouldn't be in contempt of such, in fact, I had quite a relieve when I started to observe that. It only meant the church was like me, nothing more. We are both afraid where we are weak and we call to God. "Good!" I thought and so it is until it proves me wrong.
I leave this Genesis with just God and Church, and will write about more when the time comes . It's only the beginning, I'm wondering how good a reach is blog, if I even find a decent reader, I might just continue writing.
posted by One at 1:04 AM
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